No sense in wasting time, let’s get right back into this.
Relationship Priorities
I think we can all agree that the marriage is more important than the house. Now, this does not mean that you are willing to walk away from the home over an argument, but we are once again going back to getting your priorities in order, but we are talking about the marriage itself here.
Point being, the home should not become an obsession to the point that it is all you two are talking about any given time. Have a plan in place to alleviate the stress you know is coming. Keep a “date night” every week where the house is off the table for discussion. Don’t use the house as a weapon, meaning you should never be threatening divorce over a condition of the home. On the flip side of that, if there are already problems, having a custom home built is not going to solve them.
A custom home is there to complement the marriage, understand that. The finished product is a representation of both of you and the life you have planned together.
Treat Each Other Well… Be Nice
Have you ever seen the movie “Roadhouse” with Patrick Swayze? There is a scene in that movie where he talks to the staff for the first time about when they can and cannot start throwing hands. He consistently tells them, “Be nice.” Well, that is what we are asking you to do here. Keep your tone pleasant and don’t be vindictive when talking about the home. Just be nice. Be courteous and don’t simply “go off” because one of you likes or wants something that the other does not. One of the points we made above was to ask your partner “help me understand” why that person wants something so badly in a particular room.
One other tip on this particular point… do not talk smack about anyone in the house with anyone involved in the build. Believe me, it will come back at you at the worst possible time. For instance, your wife tells the builder you can be “difficult” to deal with at times. Then let’s say the builder comes up short on something and the husband confronts him about it, then the builder turns around and says, “Yeah, your wife said you can be difficult.” Imagine the fight that takes place that night over dinner.
Okay, folks, that is it for today, but we do have one more part to this, so stay tuned and make sure your read Part 3.